The short answer
Toddlers may hit, push, or bite when they are frustrated and do not yet have the words or self-control to manage a strong feeling. Stop the behavior calmly, protect everyone from injury, use a short limit such as ‘I won’t let you hit’, and show a safe alternative. Do not hit or bite back. Seek advice if aggression is persistent, causes injury, or comes with other developmental concerns.
In this guide · 12 sections
Keep in mind
- Occasional hitting or biting can happen while toddlers are learning communication and impulse control.
- Stop unsafe behavior, use a short consistent boundary, and show what your child can do instead.
- Avoid physical punishment, threats, or shaming; seek help for persistent or injurious behavior.
Why might hitting and biting happen at 13 to 18 months?
A toddler can have a strong wish or feeling without enough words or self-control to express it calmly. Hitting, pushing, or biting may happen during frustration or excitement.
An occasional outburst does not define your child's character or mean they will grow up to be aggressive. They need adults to set safe limits and teach alternatives.
Stay close during play with other children so you can step in if someone may be hurt.
How can communication difficulties affect behavior?
Your child may understand more than they can say, but still be unable to explain what they want in the moment. A toy being taken or a difficult transition can lead to a physical reaction.
Model short words and gestures such as ‘help’, ‘more’, ‘my turn’, or ‘stop’. Use the same simple phrases as you guide your child toward a safer way to communicate.
Learning a new response takes time. Keep showing it rather than expecting your toddler to remember it every time.
Can tiredness and hunger play a part?
Yes. Hunger, tiredness, illness, noise, crowding, or several transitions can make it harder for a toddler to cope.
Notice whether the behavior appears at predictable times, such as before meals or near nap time. Adjusting the situation may prevent some episodes.
A trigger can help explain what happened, but you still need to stop hitting or biting and protect everyone.
What should you do in the moment?
First stop the action and protect the other child or adult. Gently block a hit or move the children apart if needed.
Use a brief, calm limit such as ‘I won’t let you hit’ or ‘Biting hurts’. Long explanations are hard for a toddler to use while upset.
Help the child who was hurt and make sure everyone is safe before deciding what to do next.
How can you show a safer behavior?
After setting the limit, show a simple alternative: ‘Gentle hands’, ‘Ask for help’, or ‘You can throw the ball’. Demonstrate the action when you can.
Notice and praise a safe response with specific words, such as ‘You gave me the toy gently’. This shows your child what behavior you want to see.
Toddlers need repeated practice. A new alternative may not replace hitting immediately, so stay close and keep the limit consistent.
Does shouting, hitting, or biting back help?
Do not hit, bite, threaten, or shame your child. These responses can frighten a toddler and model the same behavior you are trying to stop.
If you feel overwhelmed, first make the children safe and take a brief moment to steady yourself. Then return with a clear, calm boundary.
You can be firm without being frightening: stop the action, say what is not allowed, and guide your child to what they can do instead.
What should happen after the incident?
Once everyone is safe, keep the follow-up brief. You can reconnect with your child and repeat the simple boundary without forcing a long apology.
Attend to the person who was hurt. You can also help your toddler notice the effect of the action with simple words, such as ‘That hurt; we use gentle hands.’
When your child is calm, return to a safe activity and acknowledge the first helpful behavior you notice.
When should you seek support?
Talk with your child's doctor, health visitor, or pediatrician if hitting or biting is frequent and persistent, causes injuries, or makes it hard to keep people safe.
Mention any other concerns about communication, hearing, social interaction, or development. These can be considered alongside the behavior.
If your child loses a skill they previously had, seek developmental advice promptly.
What can you do today?
For a few days, notice when hitting or biting happens and whether hunger, tiredness, a toy conflict, or a transition came first.
Choose one short boundary phrase and ask other caregivers to use it too. Stop the action, then show a safe alternative.
Stay close during situations that often lead to conflict. Move small or unsafe objects out of reach.
Share your observations with a clinician if behavior is causing injury, becoming more intense, or raising wider concerns.
When to seek support
Some signs need emergency help; other concerns can be discussed with your child’s healthcare team.
- Separate children and get help if someone is injured or cannot be kept safe.
- Discuss persistent aggression, skill loss, or other developmental concerns with a clinician.
Sources used for this guide
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — 10 Tips to Prevent Aggressive Behavior in Young Children
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — HealthyChildren – What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?
English editorial review:
The English text and regional guidance have been checked editorially. This is not an individual clinical assessment.
Luluna provides general parenting information. It does not diagnose conditions or replace your child’s healthcare professional.
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