Are Tantrums Common at 19–24 Months, and How Can I Respond?

Are tantrums normal at this age?

Tantrums are common in toddlerhood, including around 19–24 months, as independence grows faster than communication and self-regulation skills.

A toddler may cry, shout, drop to the floor, or struggle when they cannot explain what they want or manage frustration.

A tantrum by itself does not mean that a child is badly behaved or has a developmental condition.

Why do tantrums happen, and what can I do first?

There is no single cause. Hunger, tiredness, too much stimulation, a difficult transition, frustration, or not being understood can all contribute.

First make sure your child and other people are safe. Move dangerous objects and stay close if your toddler may fall or hit someone.

Use a few calm words rather than a long explanation; a child in the middle of a strong feeling may not be ready to listen.

Name the feeling in a simple way, such as “You’re frustrated because we’re leaving.” This can help your child feel understood.

Offer comfort or a quiet presence if your child accepts it. Children differ in whether they want a cuddle or a little space.

When the moment has passed, look for a practical trigger such as hunger, fatigue, or a sudden change in activity.

Should I try to stop every tantrum or set a limit?

You may not be able to stop a tantrum immediately. The first goal is safety and helping your child get through a strong feeling.

Stay as calm as you can and keep your words brief. Shouting back or threatening punishment can add to the distress.

Acknowledge the feeling while keeping a needed limit: “You’re angry. I won’t let you hit.”

If a distraction or a change of activity helps before the feeling becomes intense, you can try it; it is not necessary to use the same response every time.

When a boundary is about safety, keep it clear and consistent. You can still be warm and responsive while saying no.

Do not leave a young child in an unsafe place during a tantrum; make the area safe and remain available.

What if my child hits, bites, or kicks?

Block the action gently and move people out of reach. Use a short statement such as “I won’t let you hit.”

Do not hit, bite, or kick back. When your child is calmer, show a safer way to express the feeling or ask for help.

If someone is hurt or your child is at risk of injury, focus on care and safety before discussing what happened.

Can I reduce tantrums before they start?

You cannot prevent every tantrum, but regular meals, rest, and predictable routines can help with common triggers.

Give a short warning before a transition when possible, such as telling your child it will soon be time to leave.

Offer two simple acceptable choices to support independence without changing a necessary boundary.

Keep outings and waiting periods manageable for your child’s age and energy.

Notice and warmly acknowledge moments when your child communicates, waits, or handles a change.

Use the same basic response across carers when you can; consistency helps children learn what to expect.

What should I do after the tantrum ends?

When your child is calm, reconnect in a way they welcome. A brief cuddle or a few reassuring words may be enough.

You can name what happened simply, then return to the day. A long lecture is usually not needed.

Later, practise a simple word, gesture, or routine your child can use next time they need help.

What if I give in during a tantrum?

A one-off change does not determine your child’s future behaviour. Parents sometimes need to adapt to a situation.

For important safety limits, try to stay consistent so your child knows what to expect.

When it is not a safety issue, decide when you are calm rather than feeling forced to choose during the tantrum.

When should I seek support?

Talk with your child’s clinician if tantrums are persistently very frequent or intense, or if your child regularly hurts themselves or others.

Also seek advice if behaviour is seriously affecting family life, your child’s communication, or their ability to take part in everyday activities.

Share examples of what happens before, during, and after an episode; the pattern can help guide support.

What can I do today?

For a few days, note when tantrums happen and whether hunger, tiredness, transitions, or frustration may be involved.

Choose one calm phrase and one safety response to use consistently.

Offer simple choices where possible and keep essential limits clear.

When your child settles, reconnect and move on without shaming or repeatedly revisiting the episode.