The short answer
Yes. Tantrums can still be part of typical development at 31–36 months. A toddler may use more words but still need help handling frustration and strong feelings. Stay calm and nearby, keep everyone safe, name the feeling when your child is calmer and maintain clear boundaries.
In this guide · 12 sections
Keep in mind
- Tantrums and big feelings are common in toddler development.
- Help your child name feelings and settle; they may not be ready to process explanations during the peak of distress.
- Keep firm safety limits without smacking, threats or shame.
- Talk with a health visitor or GP if concerns persist or safety and daily life are affected.
Are tantrums normal at this age?
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says tantrums can be a normal part of development, especially between ages 1 and 3.
A tantrum at 31–36 months does not by itself mean something is wrong. Feelings may be intense while skills for managing them are still developing.
Why can tantrums continue when a child talks more?
Around age 2, children may still find it hard to control actions, impulses and feelings. More words do not mean they can yet manage every strong emotion.
Waiting, stopping an activity, sharing or accepting “not now” may still be difficult, even when your child can explain what they want.
What can trigger a tantrum?
Hunger and tiredness are common triggers. A child may also feel frustrated, jealous or in need of attention and reassurance.
Transitions can be hard too: ending play, leaving home, turning off a screen, sharing or being unable to do something independently.
What can you do when a tantrum starts?
First keep your child and others safe and use a calm, steady voice. Stay close and help your child through the big feeling; while they are very upset, it may be hard for them to take in new information.
When your child is calmer, name the feeling in simple words and talk briefly about what happened. You can acknowledge anger or disappointment while keeping a clear safety boundary.
Can offering small choices help?
Small, guided choices may help your child feel included while you keep the important limit in place.
For example, offer “the red coat or the blue coat?”—two options you are both comfortable with.
Does accepting a feeling mean removing the boundary?
No. You can recognise anger or disappointment and still stop unsafe behaviour.
Do not allow hitting, biting or throwing things at people. Calmly block the action, say what is not allowed and help your child express the feeling safely.
Do physical punishment or shaming help?
Do not smack, threaten, insult or shame your child. These responses can add distress rather than help them learn to manage a big feeling.
Notice positive behaviour, give clear and consistent boundaries, and help your child find another way to express what they feel once they are calmer.
When should you talk with your child’s doctor?
Talk with your child’s paediatrician if tantrums often put your child or someone else at risk, significantly disrupt daily life, or happen alongside a loss of communication or other previously learned skills.
You can also seek advice whenever you have a strong, ongoing concern about your child’s behaviour; you do not need to wait for a particular threshold.
What can you try today?
After a tantrum, think about what happened just before it: was your child tired, hungry, moving between activities or blocked from doing something?
For a similar moment, try warning before the transition, offering one small choice while keeping the limit, and naming the feeling briefly after your child is calmer.
When to seek support
Some signs need emergency help; other concerns can be discussed with your child’s healthcare team.
- Speak with a health visitor or GP if tantrums often put anyone at risk, significantly disrupt daily life or become much more intense.
- Seek advice if you notice a loss of communication, social skills or another previously learned ability.
- You can ask for help whenever you are seriously concerned about your child’s behaviour.
Sources used for this guide
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — HealthyChildren – Top Tips for Surviving Tantrums
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — HealthyChildren – What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — HealthyChildren – Emotional Development: 2 Year Olds
- American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) / HealthyChildren.org — What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child?
- www.nhs.uk — regional guidance
- www.nhs.uk — regional guidance
English editorial review:
The English text and regional guidance have been checked editorially. This is not an individual clinical assessment.
Luluna provides general parenting information. It does not diagnose conditions or replace your child’s healthcare professional.
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