The short answer
Separation anxiety is common in young children and may continue or become more noticeable around 13 to 18 months. Use a brief, warm goodbye, tell your child what will happen in simple words, and build short separations with a trusted carer when possible. Seek advice if distress remains intense, lasts a long time after you leave, or disrupts daily life for weeks.
In this guide · 12 sections
Keep in mind
- Clinging or crying at separation can be a normal part of development and attachment.
- A calm, predictable goodbye and familiar carer can make transitions easier.
- Contact a health visitor or clinician if distress is prolonged or significantly affects daily life.
Why can separation feel harder at this age?
A toddler may understand that a carer has left but still find it hard to know when they will return. Being tired, hungry, unwell, or in a new setting can make a goodbye more difficult.
Crying, reaching for you, or going to the door does not mean your relationship is unhealthy. Separation anxiety is common in young children and can appear at different times.
How can you make goodbye brief and clear?
Tell your child you are leaving and who will stay with them, using simple words they can understand. A familiar phrase and a quick hug or wave can become a predictable ritual.
Avoid slipping away without saying goodbye or repeatedly restarting the farewell. The aim is not to stop every tear, but to make the transition understandable and consistent.
How can you help your child get to know a new carer?
When possible, let your child spend short periods with the carer while you are still nearby before trying a longer separation. A familiar routine for play, meals, or comfort can also make the transition easier.
Tell the carer what usually comforts your child and how they communicate tiredness, hunger, or a need for help. Keep the transition gradual when circumstances allow.
What if your child cries at nursery drop-off?
Crying at the moment of goodbye does not tell you how the whole day will go. Some toddlers settle with support after the carer leaves.
Ask the nursery team how long your child takes to settle and whether they join play, eat, and rest during the day. A repeated, short goodbye routine can make drop-off more predictable than a long farewell that starts over several times.
Can separation anxiety affect sleep?
Some toddlers seek extra reassurance at bedtime or after waking when separation feels difficult. Respond with a calm, familiar sleep routine.
Wanting comfort is not manipulation or a ‘bad habit’. Keep your response reassuring, and discuss the pattern with a clinician if sleep becomes very difficult or your child seems unwell.
How can you practise short separations?
Start with a brief separation with a trusted adult or a short moment in another safe room. Tell your child you are going and return as you said.
Gradually build experience when your child is ready. It is not a test; peekaboo or simple ‘I’m back’ games can practise the idea that people go out of sight and return. A child may need more reassurance after illness or a change in routine.
What responses can make the transition harder?
Avoid shaming your child for crying or saying they are too big to need you. Acknowledge the feeling and keep the goodbye calm.
When safe and practical, avoid cancelling every planned separation solely because your child protests. Predictable routines are helpful, while plans can change for illness or other needs.
What can you try today?
Choose one short goodbye phrase and use it consistently. Tell your child who will care for them and when you will return in familiar routine terms.
At reunion, reconnect with a cuddle, a few minutes of play, or another familiar activity. Let your child take the lead if they need a moment first.
When should you seek professional advice?
Contact your health visitor, GP, or paediatrician if your child remains very distressed for a long time after you leave, the distress continues for weeks, or it prevents nursery, work, or daily activities.
Also discuss concerns about sleep, eating, communication, or development. If your child loses a skill they previously used, seek advice promptly rather than attributing it only to separation anxiety.
When to seek support
Some signs need emergency help; other concerns can be discussed with your child’s healthcare team.
- Seek professional advice if separation distress persists for weeks or prevents everyday activities.
- If your child loses previously used words, gestures, or social skills, ask for a developmental assessment.
Sources used for this guide
English editorial review:
The English text and regional guidance have been checked editorially. This is not an individual clinical assessment.
Luluna provides general parenting information. It does not diagnose conditions or replace your child’s healthcare professional.
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