The short answer
To soothe a crying baby, first check safely for hunger, a nappy, temperature, tiredness and signs of illness rather than trying only to stop the crying. Then give one approach time, such as skin-to-skin contact, a calm voice, rhythmic carrying or a short pause to burp. Holding your baby does not spoil them. If you feel overwhelmed, place your baby on their back in a clear, safe cot and take a brief break; this is much safer than shaking them.
In this guide · 9 sections
Keep in mind
- Check basic needs and signs of illness first; do not assume every cry is caused by gas.
- Try one soothing method for a while; switching rapidly between methods can overstimulate your baby.
- If you feel close to losing control, place your baby safely in their cot, step away briefly and ask for help; never shake a baby.
What should you check before trying to soothe your baby?
Think about the last feed, hunger cues, nappy, room temperature and tiredness. Tight clothing, a twisted label or a hair wrapped around a toe or finger can also cause discomfort.
Do not wait with soothing techniques alone if your baby has a fever, breathing difficulty, repeated vomiting, cannot feed or seems unusually weak. How your baby looks between crying spells may tell you more than the sound or length of the cry.
Which soothing methods can you try?
Holding your baby close to your chest, skin-to-skin contact, speaking in a low calm voice, walking slowly or gentle rhythmic movement help many babies. After a feed, a short burping pause, a dim room or a warm bath may also be worth trying.
Choose one approach and give it a few minutes. Rapidly switching from carrying to rocking, sounds and other methods may add sensory stimulation. Each baby has different preferences; a method not working does not mean you are doing anything wrong.
How can you use swaddling, white noise and movement safely?
If you swaddle, leave room for your baby’s hips and legs to move and stop as soon as they show signs of trying to roll. If they fall asleep, place them on their back on a flat, clear sleep surface; swings, car seats and inclined products are not routine sleep spaces.
Keep white noise low and the device away from the cot. Gentle rocking is different from shaking: no movement that makes your baby’s head jerk rapidly forwards and backwards is safe.
Does holding your baby spoil them?
Young babies do not cry to control you; crying is one of their main ways to communicate. Responding with closeness and comfort supports a sense of safety. Holding your baby in the early months does not spoil them.
The crying does not have to stop immediately. Checking their needs, staying nearby and offering a calm voice and touch are ways of being there for your baby even if they continue to cry.
How can you take a safe break when you feel overwhelmed?
Long spells of crying can strain your nervous system. If you feel your anger rising, put your baby on their back in a clear, safe cot, step into another room for a few minutes, breathe slowly and call a trusted adult if you can.
Never shake your baby. If you are afraid you may hurt them, do not stay alone; get immediate support from someone nearby or a health service. Asking for help is a protective, responsible step.
What can you do the next time your baby cries?
First check the last feed, nappy, temperature, sleep and your baby’s general condition in a simple sequence.
Lower stimulation and give one approach, such as skin-to-skin contact or slow carrying, a few minutes to help.
Notice your own stress too. If you are nearing your limit, put your baby in the safe cot and contact the person you have chosen for support.
When to seek support
Some signs need emergency help; other concerns can be discussed with your child’s healthcare team.
- A rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher in a baby under 3 months, difficulty waking, refusal to feed or breathing difficulty.
- Green or bloody vomit, repeated forceful vomiting, a clearly swollen abdomen, blood in the stool or a blue colour.
- An unusually high-pitched, sudden or inconsolable cry, especially if your baby seems unwell between episodes.
Sources used for this guide
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — Responding To Your Baby's Cries
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — Crying Baby – Before 3 Months Old
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — Colic Relief Tips for Parents
- www.nhs.uk — regional guidance
- www.nhs.uk — regional guidance
- NHS — When to get urgent medical help for babies and children under 5
English editorial review:
The English text and regional guidance have been checked editorially. This is not an individual clinical assessment.
Luluna provides general parenting information. It does not diagnose conditions or replace your child’s healthcare professional.
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